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Thread: You Live In...

  1. #16
    onthespot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    North Carolina
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    Rules For Visiting the South:

    If you are going to live, or visit in the South, you need to know the rules.
    In an effort to help outsiders understand the rules of the Southerner`s
    mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter a
    Southern State:

    1. That slope-shouldered farm boy pumping your gas at the service station did more work before breakfast than you do
    all week at the gym.

    2. It`s called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you`re going
    to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get it out of the way.

    3. That red dirt -- it`s called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don`t
    wash your car for a couple weeks -- it`ll be permanent.

    4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah,
    we saw Bambi. We got over it.

    5. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you
    whipped -- by our women.

    6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don`t cry to us if a flathead
    breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout
    you fish for -- bait.

    7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. (REALLY!!!)

    8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose and whatever, and
    wear your hair long, go right ahead, but if we call you ma`am, don`t be
    offended.

    9. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final
    approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it`s not up to your ear
    at the time.

    10. That`s right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you
    paid in the airport for one drink.

    11. No, there`s no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it
    rare. Or, you can order the Chef`s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham
    and turkey.

    12. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You
    want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened - add a lot of
    water.

    13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over
    ice.

    14. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We`re real impressed. We have a
    quarter of a million dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.

    15. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray before we eat (yeah,
    even breakfast), we go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high
    school football games on Friday nights, we still address our seniors with
    "yes, sir" and "yes, ma`am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives
    around town to see friends and neighbors.

    16. We don`t do "hurry up" well.

    17. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream and carp. You really want sushi and
    caviar? It`s available at the bait shop.

    18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on and
    if you want to put milk and sugar on them? Then you want cream of wheat --
    go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.

    19. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it`s called being friendly.
    Understand the concept?

    20. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don`t hit in the water hazards. It spooks
    the fish and bothers the gators -- and if you hit it in the rough, we have
    these things called diamondbacks, and they`re not baseball players.

    21. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like
    an idiot -- his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.

    22. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions.
    The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them --
    enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the
    flag burner.

    Enjoy your visit!
    "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

  2. #17

    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    ..south of Worcester, MA
    Posts
    338
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    I love it!!!
    I visited SC about 20 yrs ago to see a friend`s family. After a big family git together, I asked what they do for fun on a Friday night. I was told to go to Willy`s pool hall..that I`d love it. We took his advice and drove about 15miles down a dirt road into the woods. Pulled up , in our Volvo, to a 16foot square shack made of plywood and a gas lantern outside...no door on the front. We got out, 2 guys and 2 girls, and walked up..just to see.....inside was about 20 people and a pool table..2 coolers on the dirt floor. We`re Northeners........everyone stopped...the record player was turned way down..and a voice yelled..."what chew want?"
    My friend...the smart one....said "SHINE"....record player was turned back up..people went back to playin` pool...and 4 paper cups with a clear liquid in `em appeared on a wooden plank...I have never been so drunk in my entire life...no idea how we made it back to our motel.
    "Be right in, honey...I`m almost done!"

  3. #18
    Car Detailing Whore
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Moore, OK
    Posts
    1,319
    Post Thanks / Like
    Originally posted by onthespot
    Rules For Visiting the South:

    If you are going to live, or visit in the South, you need to know the rules.
    In an effort to help outsiders understand the rules of the Southerner`s
    mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter a
    Southern State:

    1. That slope-shouldered farm boy pumping your gas at the service station did more work before breakfast than you do
    all week at the gym.

    2. It`s called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you`re going
    to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get it out of the way.

    3. That red dirt -- it`s called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don`t
    wash your car for a couple weeks -- it`ll be permanent.

    4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah,
    we saw Bambi. We got over it.

    5. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you
    whipped -- by our women.

    6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don`t cry to us if a flathead
    breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout
    you fish for -- bait.

    7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. (REALLY!!!)

    8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose and whatever, and
    wear your hair long, go right ahead, but if we call you ma`am, don`t be
    offended.

    9. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final
    approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it`s not up to your ear
    at the time.

    10. That`s right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you
    paid in the airport for one drink.

    11. No, there`s no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it
    rare. Or, you can order the Chef`s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham
    and turkey.

    12. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You
    want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened - add a lot of
    water.

    13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over
    ice.

    14. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We`re real impressed. We have a
    quarter of a million dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.

    15. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray before we eat (yeah,
    even breakfast), we go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high
    school football games on Friday nights, we still address our seniors with
    "yes, sir" and "yes, ma`am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives
    around town to see friends and neighbors.

    16. We don`t do "hurry up" well.

    17. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream and carp. You really want sushi and
    caviar? It`s available at the bait shop.

    18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on and
    if you want to put milk and sugar on them? Then you want cream of wheat --
    go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.

    19. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it`s called being friendly.
    Understand the concept?

    20. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don`t hit in the water hazards. It spooks
    the fish and bothers the gators -- and if you hit it in the rough, we have
    these things called diamondbacks, and they`re not baseball players.

    21. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like
    an idiot -- his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.

    22. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions.
    The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them --
    enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the
    flag burner.

    Enjoy your visit!
    Yes oh yes that is so true! AMEN!
    http://tassadar.ezekial.net

  4. #19
    I'm here! jgv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Aveiro
    Posts
    557
    Post Thanks / Like
    Originally posted by Tassadar
    Yes oh yes that is so true! AMEN!
    You guys make me remind of so many movies I saw about.....Eeehh.... You!
    Portuguese details detalhe.net

  5. #20
    Zube's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    San Luis Obispo, CA
    Posts
    18
    Post Thanks / Like
    I posted this thread on the acura forums and they loved it... good find.

 

 
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